Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins

Muffins speak to me in a spiritual level.

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

Like, picture me sitting in my desk (likely wearing my pyjamas but let’s pretend I’m being glam for once and I’m wearing Topshop). It’s all calm and quiet. I’m just there, studying for another chemistry exam, trying my best not to fail. Look at me, doing all that’s in my hands to memorize the structure of all these 3,4,4,5-tetramethylcyclohexa-2,5-dienone-why-on-earth-for-the-sake-of-all-that’s-sacred-can’t-you-have-a-normal-name compounds and just about to cry.

See me, all focused on the endless list of chemical reactions I should have memorised by now. 

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

More like, see me all focused on making the 56th mug of tea of the day, still in my pyjamas, thinking of another way I can procrastinate (although no way will ever beat baking a loaf of this peanut butter caramel chocolate cake, let’s be honest here), blasting Dire Straits music because… it helps me think?

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

Anyway, picture me there. Silence everywhere. Still studying. Eyes on my chemistry book, mind and heart on that GoT I really, really should be watching again.

And then, boom, you hear them muffins speak. Voices velvety and inviting, just like the white chocolate frosting you need to put on top of them.

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

Muffins: Sup gurl, whatcha doin’

Me: Oh hey are these talking muffins I’m seeing? *closes book* What’s wrong with me. Ah, too much studying I guess. Time for another GoT chapter I’ve already watched seven times.

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

Voice of reason: Go back to your book, young lady. These complex carbohydrates reactions aren’t going to learn themselves. Plus I’m pretty sure you’ve watched that chapter like twenty times now.

-Me: *mutters* More like twenty-one but okay. Chemistry homework. Let’s do thisssssssssss.

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

-Muffins: BUT CONSUELO. HEY HEY HEY! LOOK AT US. WE’RE SO FLUFFY!

-Me: Please shut up. I’m trying to study here.

-Muffins: Girl look at how moist we are!!!!!!! Bursting with plump, juicy blueberries. Don’t you like blueberries? We know you love blueberries. It’s not as if we hadn’t seen you go through six boxes this week…

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

-Me: Ok. I like blueberries, so what. You’d be mad not to! Now, if you please went away I’M TRYING TO BE PRODUCTIVE HERE.

-Muffins: you’ve been trying to be “”””productive”””” for the past three weeks. Last time we checked, lying in bed in your pyjamas while you mourn the death of fictional characters for three days straight wasn’t what we’d call exactly productive… Now, if you please looked at us! WE’RE TASTY, INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS AND THE WHITE CHOCOLATE CREAM WE’RE TOPPED WITH IS SO TO DIE FOR THAT IT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN MADE BY GEORGE R.R MARTIN!!

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

-Me: SHUT UP ALREADY! *stands up* *eats a whole tray of muffins so they’re no longer there to tempt her* 

Now that I think about it, it’s such a miracle that I still get to pass my chemistry exams.

But what can you do. I’m the kind of person who procrastinates while procrastinating. And what’s a better way to procrastinate than baking a batch of warm blueberry muffins, spending half an hour pretending they’re talking to you AND writing a blog post about it and lastly devouring said batch of muffins?

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins: they turn out so fluffly and moist it's unreal!

I mean, you could also pretend you’re a functional human being, skip the talking part (again, what’s wrong with me) and go straight to the muffin-demolishing bussiness. But why skip yet another excuse to procrastinate?

 

Greek Yogurt Blueberry Muffins
Yields 12
Soft, tender, fluffly muffins bursting with plump blueberries. These will be so hard to resist!
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Ingredients
  1. 310g white flour
  2. 150g sugar
  3. 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  4. 1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
  5. 15g baking powder
  6. 5 tablespoons buttermilk
  7. 2 large eggs
  8. 70g light olive oil
  9. 250g greek yogurt
  10. 200 grams fresh blueberries
For the white chocolate cream
  1. 200 grams coconut yogurt
  2. 50 grams dairy free white chocolate
  3. 1-2 drops hazelnut extract
Instructions
  1. Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder and cinnamon.
  2. Add in eggs, oil, vanilla extract and greek yogurt and stir to combine.
  3. Carefully, fold in the blueberries, stirring gently so they don't turn the batter blue.
  4. Grease 12 muffin tins (metal ones if you want the blueberries to be high) and fill them 3/4 with the batter.
  5. Bake at 220ºC for the first 5 min and then reduce the temperature to 180ºC and bake for 10-15 minutes more.
Notes
  1. Dairy-free options can be used succesfully.
honey & figs http://honeyandfigskitchen.com/
 HAZ CLICK AQUÍ PARA IR A LA RECETA EN ESPAÑOL

 Hope you enjoy these!

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Salted Caramel Peanut Butter

“Things that shouldn’t be allowed and will be illegal if I ever make it as prime minister”, a list by Consuelo.

-Homework.

-Those people who look at you in the eyes and tell you that “nut butters aren’t meant to be eaten with a spoon”

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

WHY ARE YOU HERE. IS RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PB BUTTER JAR YOUR ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE?

WHO ARE YOU.

THE NUT BUTTER POLICE? I don’t recall having asked for your opinion.

My nut butter jar. My spoon. My rules.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

You see, peeps, forget those people, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life AND everybody knows that spoons were initially invented so as you can eat peanut butter straight off the jar #fact.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

Moderation is so 2005 when it comes to this salted caramel peanut butter. Like, you’d better have an army of 10000 gladiators if you’re thinking of trying to stop me from devouring the whole jar in a sitting. And let’s be honest, I believe I’d still beat your army and make my way to the salted caramel peanut butter jar.

Unless by “gladiator” you mean “Kit Harington in Pompeii”. Then I’m marrying your army and THEN GETTING MY PEANUT BUTTER.

Ah, the things I’d do for love.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

But c’mon who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their life with this mighty fine spread? It’s salty, it’s sweet, it’s creamy… It can (and should) be eaten by the spoon, it makes toast x1000 times tastier than it already is, you can frost brownies with it, it’d make a fabulous cake filling… but the spoon; the spoon is the key.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

Imagine peanut butter. Tasty, right? Next, imagine salted caramel. Oh, luscious concoction sent from heaven! Then, imagine both peanut butter and salted caramel’s lovechild.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter: best eaten by the spoon!

Boom, perfection. Party in your mouth. Happiness in a jar. Flavor explosion… whatever you want to call it, just hand me the spoon and no one gets hurt.

Salted Caramel Peanut Butter
Sweet, salty, creamy deliciouness: best eaten by the spoon, but I guess it makes a nice toast topping to.
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Ingredients
  1. 500 grams roasted peanuts
  2. 6-7 soft medjool dates
  3. 2 tbsp. maple syrup
  4. 100-150 ml. coconut milk
Instructions
  1. Blend dates until a paste forms. Remove paste from food-processor.
  2. Add peanuts to your blender and process until you get a smooth peanut butter. You'll have to stop every 5 minutes so your food-processor doesn't overheat.
  3. When peanut butter is ready, add in date paste, maple syrup and 100 ml of coconut milk and blend until smooth.
  4. If paste is too thick, add more milk until it reaches desired consistency.
Notes
  1. You can use any kind of vegetable milk you want, but coconut milk makes it taste more like caramel.
honey & figs http://honeyandfigskitchen.com/

HAZ CLICK AQUÍ PARA IR A LA RECETA EN ESPAÑOL

Give this a try and take your breakfast game to a whole new level… except that you and I know that by “breakfast game” I actually mean “putting some pb on your toast and then shoving the rest of the jar into your mouth with, yes, a spoon”.

Have a nice day peeps! Game of Thrones is back this week so if you need me I’ll be sitting in a dark corner crying and eating my feelings away… with, yes, a spoon and this jar.

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Tamari Tempeh Quinoa Avocado Sushi Bowl

“How to be a failed attempt at an adult”, a book by me.  

-Step #1: make sure you don’t ever EVER do laundry. Why not try putting all your dirty clothes in a laundry basket and see how the pile grows higher each day (just like your desesperation) instead? 

If you still feel like giving this whole laundry thing a go, remember NOT to ever select the proper programme to wash your thing. 10000ºC pits-of-hell kind of heat? Yeah, that’s totally what your fragile wool sweater needs.

-Step #2: house chores are an urban legend. Don’t vacuum – spend your precious time procrastinating instead. Do I hear Netflix? Laying on the bed thinking about the meaning of life? Sitting in a dark corner doing nothing? All three are much better than sweeping.

Tamari Tempeh Quinoa Avocado Sushi Bowls - a healthy and delicious lunch or dinner idea which is also vegan and gluten free!

-Step #3: why cook a balanced a nutritious meal when you can have peanut butter and jelly toast for dinner seven sixty-seven nights in a row instead?

-Step #4: homework? Assigments? Real life work? Sounds to me like you need a nap. Or two. Come back when you’re well restead and repeat step #2.

Oh hey, I was actually kidding. Sure I do grown-up things on occasion… such as actually liking beer and lusting over Kit Harington on a daily basis.

How many three-year-olds do you know that do that huh?

Tamari Tempeh Quinoa Avocado Sushi Bowls - a healthy and delicious lunch or dinner idea which is also vegan and gluten free!

Sometimes I actually go a step further and make myself an actual nutritious lunch. “Sup girl let’s throw some veggies, superfoods, healthy fats and protein sources in a bowl so it looks like you’re actually nailing this living alone and feeding yourself thing!!!” 

Oh hey.

I’m a genius.

Now if someone would kindly explain me how to load a dishwasher that’d be greeeeeeaaaat.

Tamari Tempeh Quinoa Avocado Sushi Bowls - a healthy and delicious lunch or dinner idea which is also vegan and gluten free!

Oh hey.

Kidding again, I don’t actually own a dishwasher: I do this thing where I stack all my bowls in the biggest tower known to mankind and hope for my roommate to clean them.

Although now that I think about it, I believe she does the same?

Tamari Tempeh

Oh hey.

New book idea:

“How to make Consuelo happy in three easy steps”

-Clean her room. Emphasis on the laundry thing.

-Make her cookies. Lots of them.

-Be Kit Harington. This step is not optional.

 

Tamari Tempeh Quinoa Avocado Sushi Bowl
Serves 2
An easy to put together, super healthy and delicious dinner/lunch idea! You need to add this to your weekly menu!
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For the tempeh
  1. 200 grams tempeh
  2. 50 grams tamari sauce
  3. 20 grams maple syrup
  4. a drizzle of sriracha
For the quinoa
  1. 1 cup uncooked quinoa
  2. 2 cups water
  3. a pinch of salt
For the bowls
  1. 1 carrot
  2. 1/2 a medium zucchini
  3. 1 nori sheet
  4. 1/2 an avocado
  5. 1 tbsp. sesame seeds
  6. pickled ginger
  7. radish sprouts
For the tempeh
  1. You can marinate the tempeh overnight for a more flavorful version, but I find that this recipe works fine if you decide to cook it the same day.
  2. Whisk together tamari sauce, sriracha and maple syrup.
  3. Heat some oil in a pan and add tempeh once it's hot.
  4. Add in the tamari mix and cook tempeh until it looks golden and glaze has been absorbed.
For the quinoa
  1. Rinse quinoa very well before cooking.
  2. Add water to a saucepan and heat on high until it boils.
  3. Turn off the heat but don't remove the saucepan from the stovetop.
  4. Add in quinoa. Place a lid on top of the saucepan and let it cook for 15 minutes or until liquid has been absorbed.
  5. Stir quinoa with a fork to make it fluffy.
For the bowls
  1. Make ribbons out of the carrot with a potato peeler.
  2. Heat some olive oil in a pan and cook zucchini until golden.
  3. Throw all the ingredients into a bowl and enjoy!
Notes
  1. This is the way I cook quinoa but you're free to cook it the way you like!
  2. If you don't like quinoa you can use any other grain instead.
  3. You can use tofu instead of tempeh if you like that better.
  4. This recipe is both vegan and gluten free.
honey & figs http://honeyandfigskitchen.com/
VERSIÓN EN ESPAÑOL AQUÍ

Oh hey.

I might or might not have to stop writing posts under the influence of beer… 

Whatever. Both sober and drunk-y me agree that this is by far one of the best lunches you’ll ever have. The mix of flavours and textures is unreal. Spicy tempeh mixed with fluffy quinoa, creamy avocado salty nori and crunchy fresh veggies? Pretty sure that what’s heaven taste like! And oh hey, it’s healthy too! Packed with tons of plant-based protein, carbs and healthy fats, plus lots of vitamins and micronutrients that I’m pretty sure that the sober, adult version of me should care about.

I mean, make this, my friends. And thank me later. Preferibly in the form of cookies.

Lots of love,

Slightly-drink-but-mum-I-swear-it’s-not-what-it-looks-like me.

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