Three cheers for another Valentine’s day I’m spening alone!
(Which might or might not be a truly good thing™, since this way I get to have my chocolates AND my hypothetical boyfriend’s chocolates servings. Winning at life, much?)
Is, however, the fact that I’m totally spending tomorrow alone in my pj’s (no lectures Tuesdays are the best Valentine’s day present. Thanks universe. Thanks university rector. Thanks everyone), re-watching Narcos for like the 3246777th time and eating all the chocolate I can get my hands on (hint: a lot, as yesterday was payday) a reason to miss out on all those pretty, pink, heart-shaped goodies? The only spooning I’ll be doing might just involve a giant jar of Nutella and me BUT you bet I’m still hopping on the “let’s decorate everythangggg with hearts!!!!!” train.
The only train I’ll be hopping into again. I so hate trains. Like, as if I wasn’t a bitter enough of a person already, I had to spent an extra hour in a delayed train yesterday. To make matter worse, it was dinner time and we all know how flippin’ hangry I get when I don’t get food.
Which is probably why I don’t have a boyfriend.
I’m unbearable, oh man.
On the bright side I cook a mean rice & beans and I spend like 90% of my time baking cakes for the people I love SO I’d say I’m definitely gurlfriend material. Hint hint: if your name is Pedro Pascal and you’re reading this you can find my contact info in the about page. Hint hint hint hint hint. Pls date me. You’ll get 62 puppies and 103 cakes as dowry.
Now, who’s winning at life?
Jokes aside, let me tell you about this cake, since there are only a couple of hours left for the big V-day (P-day for me, as in pizza day YAY) and you lazy boop probably lack some of the ingredients. Trust me though: you’re going to want to make this!
First of all we have this delicious, soft and moist vanilla cake. Sounds good? Oh well, it gets even better with the addition of lots of melty chocolate chips. Can you say yum?
Then there’s a layer of creamy “nutella frosting”, which, besides being delicious as it gets, it’s also super easy to make. Seriously, you cannot mess it up ever. Not even if you’re me, the sloppiest person to ever exist. This would be a nice tiem to tell you about all the recipes I’ve ruined, but I don’t want this post to be 54 pages long. You still need to go get those groceries, right?
Finally, you get a layer of sweet & juicy strawberries cut into the most adorable heart shapes. Or, you can just throw a bunch of them on top if you don’t feel like spending 30 minutes of your life slouching over the counter carving fruit. I, although the world’s most bitter person, happen to love all these ridiculously cute things a lot, so hearts it was for me. But yeah, you could totally cut them into the shape of a tiny baboon’s butt and I still would deem the cake acceptable.
It’s a nutella cake we’re talking about, remember?
Which, unlike this trainwreck of a post which stopped making sense 23 minutes ago, totally works. So believe me when I say you’d better quit everything you’re doing at this very moment, put on some pants and get to the nearest supermarket to buy all that nutella.
Or maybe you’re the kind of responsible person who can keep a giant jar of chocolate cream at home without stoping everything you’re doing every three seconds to go dig a spoon into said jar.
Who am I kidding. These people don’t exist. Just like the possibility that this cake isn’t everything you need right now.
- 250 grams all-purpose flour
- 1/2 tsp. baking powder
- 80 grams white sugar
- 80 grams brown sugar
- 240 grams hazelnut milk
- 1 serving of egg-replacer
- 55 grams coconut oil
- 1/2 tbsp. white wine vinegar
- 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
- 100 grams chocolate chips
- 300 grams dairy-free hazelnut chocolate spread
- 120ml. coconut cream
- A handful of strawberries
- Preheat oven to 180ºC (375F)
- Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder and egg replacer.
- Add in vanilla, milk, vinegar and melted coconut oil and stir until fully mixed.
- Incorporate the chips into the mixture, stirring vigorously.
- Grease a small-medium baking pan and pour batter inside.
- Bake for 30-35 minutes or until cake is fully cooked.
- Let it cool before frosting.
- Whisk together nutella and coconut cream until smooth.
- You can use a blender, an electrical whisk or your arm, a spoon and some nerve!
- Once the cake has cooled, frost with the cream and top with strawberries.
- If you intend to keep the cake for long (up to 3 days), do not top it with the strawberries. Simply add them right before serving as they'll make the frosting watery after having sit there for long.
- Egg replacer I used is Orgran.
- Nutella used is Valsoia.
- You can use any kind of milk you fancy, but hazelnut milk goes well with the frosting.
- I used a cookie cutter to cut the heart shapes. You can find it on pretty much every pastry shop this time of the year.